Motivation?

So, this whole changing my life thing isn't going as planned. In theory I want to get stuff done, but it's so much easier to sit around doing nothing, when I should be doing homework or other productive things. I got home from school at 6:45 ish yesterday and didn't do any of my homework. I kept thinking that I needed to do it, but I watched t.v. and talked to my roomate and went on the computer---now I'm quite behind. I was hoping I could get everything done before my 5 pm class, but I couldn't.

It's not been going well. I didn't work at the ceramics studio this weekend, my mom cleaned up my room for me, I missed class this morning, and am missing a class right now, which has a homework assignment I should have emailed to my teacher by 5 pm. Also, I only did 2 drawings for my drawing class yesterday, I should have had 3 or 4 on 11X17 paper.

So, here's the reason I missed class this morning--- I didn't get ready fast enough and missed the bus. Here's why I'm not at class now---I was teaching a class (after school program--1st day) and I didn't leave there until 4:25 and my class is at 5 pm. I didn't have time to make the bus. Also, I just don't feel like going--- I'm really sneezy and a bit sick, also I want to get the homework assignment for that class (was due at 5) done, even though the highest grade I can make is a 75 turning it in late. Also that class is from 5-9 and I have homework for another class that I need to do..

I COULD HAVE DONE THIS STUFF LAST NIGHT OR LAST WEEKEND AND NOW STUFF IS LATE AND I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH TIME---BEING A SLACKER IS A BAD CHOICE.

Anyways, I think I need to redouble my efforts and give it another go. It doesn't make me happy to waste my time and not get stuff done---it's just easier.

I think my problem is that I'm a bit lazy and somtimes actually scared to do my homework, b/c I think it's going to be hard or somthing--which it usually isn't all that hard.

Anyways, I'll post again in a couple days and hopefully I'll be BACK ON TRACK WITH THIS WHOLE LIFE THING.

BTW- I'm a senior with a gpa of 3.22--- so although I slack off, I do enough to at least keep above a B average. I just wait till the last minute and stress myself out. Although, this time I'm actually turning in an assignment late, which is definitley going to hurt me in the long run.

Time for a change

Ok, so I've decided to chance my entire approach to life and to chronicle it here everyday (hopefully). I've spent my life waiting for somthing to happen, sitting back, feeling sorry for myself. Well, I'm done with all that and today's the very first day.

This picture of my extremely messy room is a symptom of my need for change.

I met a person on Friday who lives his life the way I want to live mine, with passion and purpose. I don't wanna be the person I've been for the last 22 years any more- an idealistic person who thinks we need change, but doesn't do anything to bring it about. If I beleive in it- I

wanna LIVE IT instead of just talking about it (i do realize that I am talking about it right now, but I'm not just going to talk about it)

Sadly, I spent most of yesterday playing Mario, watching tv, and thinking about the stuff I should have been doing---cleaning my room, doing homework, reading---but I just wasted my whole night and when I got into bed I started thinking about how I live and decided I needed to change and I wanted to chronicle it, hopefully writing about it will keep me on track and I won't get too distracted.

I'm sure you've seen this quote by Jack Keroac before:

"The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved. The ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars."

This quote is inspiring---to live life like you mean it. Stop talking about what you want to do, could have done, or a going to do. Just do it!

My first order of business to clean up my life, is to clean up my room. I havn't even entirely unpacked since I got back from Charleston over a month ago. It's pretty much a disaster in there. I am starting to beleive that if your room/apt. is messy then you're life probably is too

Now, a list of what I want to do for today:
-clean room and bathroom, grocery shop w/ mom, throw cylinders at the clay studio, go see waterfalls, go to a tag sale( i need a desk adn shelves bad), do at least one drawing for Arch Drawing class!

My method of starting is to actually do everything on my to do list-- It's a good place to start I think and I've never changed my life before so I'm not sure how to go about it---maybe I'll buy a self help book too---my sister seems to think they can be helpful?