No Trout Here

Months ago, while I was still working at the Office Job I had for the last 3 years (before I left it for the job I worked at for 2 days), I was unhappy and bored.  I spoke to family and friends about how I'd really like to just work part time in an office and waitress a few days a week.  I didn't pursue this, as I felt it was more prudent to find a full-time job that "made sense" and paid more that my previous position, had opportunities for advancement, etc.  So...I did that and then promptly quit!

I wasn't listening to myself at all-  I was saying out loud what I wanted, but was too "rational" to move forward with it.  I do know that I won't want to do this forever, and that it's not what a "smart college graduate should do."  However, I'm trying to move away from society's shoulds and attempting to do what I think will lead me in the right direction (wherever that is?) for me and try to do not dwell on others thoughts or opinions on these choices.

It's funny to think that once I had a concrete goal in place- getting a part time office job and a restaurant job, I was able to meet those goals within weeks of my unemployment.  Well...almost, I have the serving job, and I find out next week if I get the Admin. position I interviewed for Thursday (I think I'm gonna get it though- the interview went well!) 

I did run into some roadblocks along the way to meeting this goal.  For example, I was offered a full-time temp (poss. to perm) opportunity at Harvard and offered an interview at a restaurant that would have been mostly hourly wages with little tips (counter service and food prep.)  Both of these positions presented opportunities (and I did need a job,) but they weren't in line with my goal and because I knew exactly what I was looking for (the type of restaurant I wanted even)- I made the tough decision to not take the job at Harvard and to not accept the interview at Clover.  As difficult as it was to turn things down, I was able to do so because I had my goal and knew what it looked like.

I'm already happier, and glad I turned down those other things to get here- The Field has a great atmosphere: it's busy, I'll be able to make pretty good money, it's pretty close to my neighborhood, the people seem very cool, and I love feeling more connected to my community!  The part time admin position I interviewed for seems to have what I'm looking for as well- it's easy to get to on the train, my future boss seems like an approachable and nice guy, most people it the office seem cool (although one person seems a little persnickity), it's 24 hours per week, and seems to have a good variety of different work that should keep me on my toes for awhile.  (There's also a ping pong table in the office, which is AMAZING!)

This whole experience has really shown me that having a specific goal, even if it's something small like getting 2 part time jobs, is sooo important!  I'm really looking forward to exploring my interests and discovering other goals, as well as a direction to go in.  

Just having a picture in my head of what I wanted allowed me to go after it, while making it much easier to make decisions about next steps.  Taking steps that led me toward that picture in my head and avoiding the steps that would take me away from it proved to not really be all that difficult.

I had been living my life for the past few years somewhat like a Trout, just swimming with the current (is that what Trout do, go with the flow?) and not making intentional decisions for my life.  I don't know what's going to happen- but it's a good feeling to be making intentional decisions for myself, which I hadn't really done since I moved to Boston.