I wish I felt great about all this stuff, but I just don't right now....sometimes I have the thought "what's the point of all this?" It is so easy to give up on things and go back to doing not much at all. I'm still committed to not doing that, but I sort of feel like it right now and have felt this way since last week. I just keep telling myself that the point is to be happier and that I shouldn't give up on making that happen!
Writing this blog post is part of not giving up on moving forward! So- yes, I feel a bit down right now and am not super motivated. However, I am going to force myself to practice singing today and at least go buy the spices for the pickle recipe.
I'm going to be working a lot more now than I was this last month, which will be a challenge to getting stuff done and will require more planning. While I was unemployed or only working at the bar a couple days a week, I had so much time on my hands that I was able to sit around watching shows for hours and still have plenty of time to be productive after that, which made it MUCH EASIER to do things!
I'm busier now and will have to make time for creative pursuits. I'll be working Mon, Tues, and Thursday at the Office and Thursday Night at the bar (and prob. at least 1 or 2 other days at the bar). This week is pretty busy- I worked Mon and Tues at the Office, am working tonight at the bar, tomorrow at the office, tomorrow night at the bar, and Fri. day at the bar-that's more than full time.
So yeah- In Conclusion- I'm losing motivation and am now pretty much back to working full-time, albeit 2 part time jobs instead of one full time job. At least I have a partner in the "Pickles 'n' Jam" endeavor and we will have each other to keep us motivated. Although, if we don't get a commercial kitchen space to make the pickles and jam, then this project is really a non-starter anyways (I'll talk more about this business in another post.)
At least Spring has finally Sprung here in Boston and it's easier (for me anyways) to be happy, busy, and motivated when it's nice out!!!!
Wait a minute- I just figured out why (at least partly why) I'm losing motivation (thanks blogging!) So I've been working on 3 things:
- Singing Lessons
- Pickles and Jam company with my roommate
- Etsy Store
I would like to break down why I'm losing motivation in each category:
- Singing Lessons-
- I like my instructor a lot, but he talks A LOT, and I didn't even get a song to work on until the 3rd class
- I really haven't gotten to sing that song very much in class so far (due to all the talking) and most of the singing I've done in the 4 classes has been the warm-up. Last class I sang part of the song for about 10 or 15 min...that's it (it's an hour long class)
- Basically, I was expecting to sing more in singing class- haha- and am not getting to do that enough, so am losing motivation
- Pickles and Jam- (I know I said I'd talk about this in the next post, but here it is:)
- We just wanted to make some homemade pickles and jam and sell them at the farmer's market, but there's been so many roadblocks:
- We need a clean, health dept. inspected kitchen to make the food in
- We missed the application deadlines for all the farmer's markets around here (they were in March)
- We applied for a shared Kitchen and haven't heard back yet- so everything really hinges on that- Now we wait........
- Etsy Store-
- I made some pretty cool stuff (I think), but no one's ordered anything- so I'm much less inclined to keep making stuff if nothing happens....
What do all of these things have in common, you ask??? Well...I'm not getting much positive reinforcement on any of them. I've put time and effort into all of them and haven't gotten much of anything back yet. But...if I stay positive and move forward, eventually (hopefully sooner rather than later) things will start happening: I'll sing more in class (as I think he's covered most of the things that need to be talked about -breathing, posture, vowels, etc.), we will hear back from that kitchen (this might end up being negative- but we'll cross that bridge if we come to it), and if I keep making stuff for Etsy- I know someone will order something, right?
There you have it— motivation is being lost because of lack of positive reinforcement and minimal gains, despite effort. Now that I understand why I've been feeling down- I think I will be able to drum up some more effort on my part.
Have a great day :)
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